Sometimes things happened and it changed your perspective towards other things.
Things happened and it somehow opens your eyes and changes your attitude towards other people.
I learned a whole new level of heartbreak last week. Even after one week, I can’t get over it. I’ve been ruminating about blogging this cuz it is supposed to be kept a secret. After a while I thought there is no harm of sharing as long as I didn’t give out the details.
Though no words can exactly describe what I feel after I saw what I saw.
Usually, each child has their own adults attending to their needs. Kids especially those ages around 4 or 5 years need attention…they are still struggling to feed themselves and always need the help of adults in their life. Most of the kids we know are lucky. They have their parents or siblings or uncles and aunts and cousins and so on to help them even with the menial task…even to just make sure they get a goodnight kiss each night.
Imagine kids who don’t have such pleasure…such help…I was there for them for only about 1 hour or so; to feed one or two of them, help them to pour their drinks and chat with them, entertained them the way kids love.
I looked around and i feel so helpless. There are more than 20 of them. They are kids without parents, kids without elder sisters or brothers to help them with, kids without adults that they can truly rely on. Even if they do have elder sisters, the sister couldn’t help much, she still need help on her own. She still needs adults to take care of her.
Saying goodbye is the hardest bit. Without thinking, I hug and kiss their cheek as we were saying goodbye, those were the kids that I talked with. Before I know it, others, perhaps they have been watching me hugging their friends, come over and say, “boleh hug kah kakak?”…that is how much they deprived love. Of course…I hug them as I feel my heart breaking to pieces and tears welling up in my eyes.
One of them asked me, “esok kakak datang agik kah?”…. but she cut herself short. She knew that is not possible. I knew that is not possible. As badly as I wanted to, I was not allowed to come and go as I pleased.
In a way, they are the lucky ones. They have food and shelter. They still get the attention from those working there. There are people who care and organized such function for them. Even though it is not that much, but at least they are not on the streets, starving and cold. They are clean and get the education they very much needed….
But compared to us? Who are the lucky ones?!