“When Gina and Bryan fought, he found himself becoming immediately rigid, as if he’s been injected with a paralytic. The arguments shot out of him like bullet points. He knew he was being absurd, but he was hostage to his own constricted fury.

Researchers have a term for this state: diffuse physiological arousal, or DPA. It involves everything from an elevated heart rate to boosted cortisol level and increased amygdale activation. In other words, it prepares you for war. In this condition it’s difficult even to comb your hair in the morning, let alone conduct a nuanced conversation with someone on a touchy subject. Says John Gottman, Ph.D., a leading marriage researcher and author of The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family and Friendships, “You can probably say that when people get into DPA, they lose 30 IQ points.”

p/s: Workaholism has been called the best-dressed mental-health problem of the century. Research suggests that often the real reason workaholics push so hard is not to advance their careers or provide for their families but rather to dodge the even greater challenge of maintaining a relationship. And indeed, workaholics are 40 percent more likely to end up divorced, says Bryan Robinson, Ph.D., author of Chained to the Desk.”

quoted from Women’s health magazine ONLINE

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